Part 13: 360 Degrees

Update 13: 360 Degrees

So, last time, we had a plot twist worthy of Megaman Battle Network, in which everyone was and basic computer knowledge was twisted and distorted.

Glad to see this game taking ideas from more children-oriented video game fiction.



This time, we've been kicked out to the Sewers to head all the way back to Asuka City. (The door at the top right of the screenshot is the entrance to the Secret Room, by the way. It's, uh... not very secret.)

Is the password to enter this Secret Room bacon?



WaruMonzaemon: I just wanted a cute bride.

This guy's healed up after the beatdown we gave him, but he's still weird.

That bitch is crazy. She ain't worth it, Mr. Teddy Bear.



So who's ready to walk all the way back to Asuka City? Yes, we have to go from the Sewers, back through Dum Dum Factory, back through the Badlands, and back through the Seabed that connects to Plug Cape.

The only upside of this is the small amount of grinding I get to do, but still. The enemies aren't even threatening anymore, and the DV EXP they give off isn't enough for a skill level up even after four or five battles.

backtracking!


Click for music

Anyway. When we reach Asuka Bridge, the music playing is a bit... different. (Despite what the audio title might be called, it's actually the A.o.A theme in the OST.)

Yay for atmosphere!



In addition, the guards are gone and the gate is closed. We're locked out.



Well fuck that shit. I didn't show off this Dive point back when going over the stuff available to us, because I knew we'd hit it as part of the actual story.

...Did this Team Rocket leader Game Master chick really just left an alternate path into her stronghold? And NOT have it guarded? Keep in mind that this is an MMO. So, someone DESIGNED this. Team Rocket seriously didn't keep this in check?



Immediately after we dive, there's an exit. Well, that was quick!



Unfortunately, it just leads back to a previously-unreachable part of Asuka Bridge, which nets us a pair of Iron Gloves. Which means that yeah, we do have to go through the Seabed.



Aside from that one little detour, it's a straight shot to the exit. The only enemy down here is Gesomon, which can be kind of a fucker. Granted, I'm not using the Gyms to raise my stats, but still.

Having only one type of enemy doesn't help your pacing, game. Give the player new things to fight. Geez.


Click for music

So hey, welcome to the Asuka Sewers!



You might recognize this top part.

"Let us up! Do it you lazy bum!



This sword has a draining effect on it, but none of my current partners can use it, and besides why would I use that when I could be using a Zweihander instead? Killing things faster is almost always better.



Anyway, that's the only little detour we'll be taking here. So might as well go over the enemies in this area, because they're both new.



Name: Cyclonemon
Level: Champion
Location: Asuka City - Sewers - Water Tunnel

Drops: Wisdom Chip

2 STR, 3 DEF, 4 SPR, 4 WIS, 3 SPD,
2 FIRE, 2 WATER, 2 ICE, 2 WIND, 2 THUNDER, 2 MACHINE, 2 DARK

EXP: 134, BIT: 270

Regular Attack: No Element
Technique: Twin Missile (Magic-Machine)



Name: Raremon
Level: Champion
Location: Asuka City - Water Tunnel

Drops: Armor Chip

3 STR, 5 DEF, 3 SPR, 3 WIS, 3 SPD,
2 FIRE, 2 WATER, 2 ICE, 1 WIND, 3 THUNDER, 3 MACHINE, 3 DARK

EXP: 135, BIT: 270

Regular Attack: No Element
Technique: Paralyze Shock (Magic, Chance of Freeze)

Both of these guys are champions, which is weird because we just got finished beating up HiAndromon, who is a Mega. Anyway. Cyclonemon isn't really all that threatening - he can hit kinda hard with Twin Missile, but not the biggest problem so long as you have a good physical hitter.

Raremon, on the other hand, is a REAL fucker. His 5 DEF means that regular attacks will do next to nothing, and his only real weakness is Wind, which none of my Digimon know how to use well. Sure, Paildramon gives me access to a pretty strong one, but at the same time it's A) Paildramon, which I don't want to level up since it takes DV EXP from MetalGreymon, and B) a Magic tech, when Paildramon/Veemon is a physical attacker. Ugh.

Good. Make this game take longer! Torture the LPer!



Well, just be wary of Raremon and you should be fine. He can also paralyze you with his Tech, which makes his fights take even longer than they really should.




Moving on, the south branch (that I'm not showing) is a dead end that leads to nothing, and the east branch (the one I'm on) leads to a new area.


Click for ambience.

Oddly cool for this game.

Hello, what do we have here?



We have a Digimon, that's what we have.



Who are
you?

Battle Network spacing.

Datamon: You came all the way here to battle me? I'm good to go anytime! Let's battle!
Kite: All right! Let's battle!
Datamon: !!! ...beep! You can't copy me! You have to come up with your own line!
Kite: What? Umm... OK. Let's get it on!

I think this game tries too hard, sometimes.

Not sure I concur. I just think they tried to emulate what other successful RPGs/stories did, and copied the wrong aspects.


Click for music!

Anyway, boss battle time!


Name: Datamon (Boss)
Level: Ultimate
Location: Asuka City - Sewers - Operation Room

Drops: Recovery Crest (Chance Drop), Rusty Gloves (After Defeat)

3 STR, 3 DEF, 4 SPR, 3 WIS, 4 SPD,
2 FIRE, 1 WATER, 3 ICE, 2 WIND, 1 THUNDER, 3 MACHINE, 2 DARK

EXP: 340, BIT: 1000

Regular Attack: Machine Element
Technique: Auto Recover (Heal a small portion of HP every turn or every few turns, depending on how often the skill is used)

Datamon is kind of a fucker.




You might not be able to see it very well (I couldn't, even when playing) but Datamon's regular physical attack is what he's doing in the official art up in his bio. This is the only reason he's dangerous, especially since his Tech is only stalling. The attack hits four times, and does quite a lot of damage.




In comparison, his Tech is largely useless. It just wastes his turn to give him some healing every time his turn ends; the problem with that is that we get to attack before his healing starts kicking in, so he just wasted his turn.

My strategy going into the fight was have WarGrowlmon eat the full four hits of his first attack. The reason for that was because at level 10 (which WarGrowlmon was at) Counter Alert is learned, which acts as a discount Counter Crest. It only does about 75% of the damage, but that's still a lot, since Renamon's defense is so low. After that, I switched out to MetalGreymon, for his higher Metal Resistance, and just had a regular old slugfest.

A boss with high defense, healing and attack damage? Much better fights without the Counter Crest. I still want to see harder fights.



Which, as I'm talking about it instead of still trying to record this update, I clearly won.

Datamon: It's Rusty Gloves! It's an ultra rare item, so cherish it.
Kite: Huh?! Ah, OK, I'll keep it... Thanks... I got Rusty Gloves... Great, I think?

I'm not sure why Kite questions the Rusty Gloves, when he was thrilled at getting the Old Wand, the Old Fang, and the Rusty Rifle.

Datamon: There're secrets to old armors and weapons in the Digital World. Find armor digivolved Digimon that know these secrets.
Kite: Oh, OK! I'll find those armor digivolved Digimon!

This is thrilling and all, but not exactly what we came here for.



Datamon: ...if I open the basement gate, you can go in. ...do you have a DO Staff Pass? ...you don't?! I can't take commands from non-personnel.

Oh, so Team Rocket did prepare for someone using the hidden entrance.


Shit, we hit a dead-end. NOOOOOO



Well fuck. Hm... Now who would we know who had a Staff Pass? Probably someone who... worked for... Digimon Online...

...Don't tell me.



Rssm frrsm, making me go ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE SECRET ROOM...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MORE SEABED



Also of note, I called those yellow things in the wall Crests last update. Someone in the thread pointed out that they were actually sewer pipes.

I can't unsee it now. It's like that FedEx arrow.


Click for music!

Well, Kurt used to work for Digimon Online, so he should hopefully still have his Staff Pass. Y'know, since we're assuming the antagonists are and therefore totally incompetent and wouldn't revoke his staff access after he quit.

Kail: Hey Kite! What's wrong?
Kite: I can't get into Asuka City. If I had a Staff Pass, then maybe I could get in...
Kail: A Staff Pass?
Kurt: !!! Oink! Oink!
Kail: What are you trying to say Kurt?[sic]

Kurt's trying to say that you have problems with your comma usage.

[sic] burn

Kite: Maybe Kurt has one.
Kail: That must be it! Kurt did work here!



I'm just going to point out that Kite had no idea Kurt would have had a Staff Pass. Basically, I think you were supposed to start in Central Sector, and search everywhere for one of them, eventually making your way here and finding the cutscene. Why?! This game has the shittiest approach to handholding, where one second they tell you exactly what to do and where to go, and then the next it just says 'Have fun! Find out what to do next!'

Ugh.

Hahahahahaha, you're playing an online game. You should look up how to get to the next plot point...online!

Kite: Huh? Lisa, what are you doing there?
Lisa: As you can see, this room is a big mess. So, I was cleaning it up with Kail.
Kail: Hey, Lisa. Was there a Staff Pass laying around?
Lisa: Sorry, I haven't seen it yet. It's all Kurt's fault for keeping things so messy!
Kurt: Oink, oink!

Y'know, I was going to give the game shit for blaming Kurt and the guy not saying anything, but, well, he's an Oinkmon.

Men are all pigs, you see.

Kail: What should we do? I'm sure that it's here.



Lisa: If they help, we'll be finished in no time.
Kite: Your friends?
Lisa: Yes. Their names are Keith and Nick.
Kite: !!! ...What!? Keith and Nick!?

Looks like Tweedledum and Tweedledee are part of Lucky Mouse's crew. That means we have to deal with those idiots, right?

Lisa: Oh, you know them, Kite? Then it shouldn't take you that much time! Oh, and I last heard from them in South Sector.
Kite: Oh, ah, OK...

...What? We don't have time for this! It'd be quicker just using your goddamn Digimon to help clean the room and find the DO Staff Pass! !!



Sure enough, if we go search for Nick where we last saw him, he's not there, nor is Keith in the Ether Jungle. Mother fucker...

The excuses this story uses to pad the game.



Well, everyone knows that the first thing that you do when trying to find a guy in an RPG is go to the closest town and ask around.


Click for music

Strongman Kyle: Yeah, I saw them in this city. But I don't know where they went...

Huh. That was relatively painless.



If you remember, this Renamon wouldn't let us past back when we first visited Suzaku City. Now, though, she's moved out of the way.

Renamon: Some strange looking men just went inside.




Surprise! There's another secret dive spot, hidden in the middle of the city.

...Yeti, no. Don't do this. Turn around!




It's just a straight shot to the end, no detours or anything. The enemies aren't even interesting, it's just Dolphmon only.


Click for ambience.

However, the Suzaku UG Lake, where it lets out, has something new for us.



Name: ShogunGekomon
Level: Ultimate
Location: Asuka South - Suzaku UG Lake

Drops: Chaos Wave

3 STR, 3 DEF, 4 SPR, 4 WIS, 3 SPD,
2 FIRE, 3 WATER, 1 ICE, 2 WIND, 1 THUNDER, 2 MACHINE, 2 DARK

EXP: 101, BIT: 490

Regular Attack: No Element
Technique: Confuse Gas (Magic, Chance of Confuse)

ShogunGekomon, for real this time! He's not worth all that much experience, all things considered, and he's still squishy as hell when it comes to anything related to Ice or Thunder. The Chaos Wave is a useable item, which automatically means it's going to just sit in my bag forever.

However, he does have one thing going for him:


Click for music!

I've finally been confused! Hooray!



So Confusion is pretty fantastic. Basically, what it does is select six random commands from a list of ten or so, and just puts them in your command list instead of the usual Attack, Tech, DV, Tag, so on and so forth. This could get you in trouble. Mainly because of the six, three or four are a hidden Attack command. If you select that, then you'll do a regular physical attack.



However, on occasion you'll get unlucky and choose one of the duds. Pretty much everything about the duds is fantastic, but they're so rare that it's a reward rather than a punishment. This is the Seduct failure, by the way. My centaur cyborg with ALL THE GUNS is trying to seduce a fat gecko.

LP makes you write the strangest sentences.

This game just redeemed itself a little bit.



By the way, it's literally ALL THE GUNS.



Well, that's enough of that. Back on track.

But I want more confusion. Do it with a female Digimon next! DO IT!!



Up that ladder, it leads to another ladder (the one in the bottom right corner, there.)



That ladder, in turn, leads to a few things. In order, right to left...



Nothing.




A weapon for Monmon that is STILL outclassed by the Shotguns I bought.



And where Kyukimon would be hanging out, had we not started with Kotemon in our party.



Back down on the first landing, after going up the first ladder, there's also this little place to the left. Giver Lite and the Man in Black are there, so let's approach them.



As soon as we do so, we're caught in a cutscene.

Nick: Really, will you do your job for once?! You've been playing this game since we got here!
Keith: Ha ha ha ha, that's right! But this is a valid plan! They'll probably try to get in contact with strong players!
Nick: You're not fooling anyone! From now on, we're going as planned!
Keith: No way! I like doing what I'm doing! It's my free will. Freedom!
Nick: ...Keith!

This whole exchange is basically me and Giver on a daily basis. Giver is just interested in being a dickbag, while I'm trying to actually get shit done.

Sadly true. But being a dickbag is so much fun!



Nick: Oh, you're that kid from...
Keith: Hey kid. You wanna fight me?!
Kite: Ah... no. Lisa asked me to get Keith and Nick.
Keith: ...oh she did, did she?
Nick: Oh, we better get going or she'll be mad!



I'm a little surprised they just dropped everything and started walking away, actually.

Yeah, for once there isn't any bullshit...aside from having to find them.

Keith: We don't have time to wait. Take us now!
Nick: Yeah, take us to her right now!
Kite: ...Huh? Ah, sure!



At least they were kind enough to just teleport us here instead of making us walk all the way back, like before. How... nice.

GASP! Even the creators knew the Seabed sucked!

Lisa: All right! Nick, look for a pass code in the computer! Keith, you clean up the documents! Come on, hurry up!
Keith/Nick: Yes ma'am!/Roger that!
Lisa: See, it won't take that long now.
Kail: Um, ah, Lisa. Who are those two?
Lisa: Oh, they're just my friends.

When you see Keith/Nick, that's when they're talking at the same time, for the record. The first line is the first person, the second line is the second.



Kite: Don't look at me.

Clearly, they're her indentured servants.

Bitches be crazy.



Lisa: Hey, good job you two! So did you find a Staff Pass?
Keith/Nick: Staff Pass?/Staff Pass?
Lisa: You guys are useless! What are you guys doing?!
Keith/Nick: Oh, I'm sorry!/Sorry! I'll find it this time!
Lisa: Sorry. Can you wait a little longer?

There's a quick fade out and reload. Like, c'mon game, really?



Nick: ...hey, I found it! Lisa is very demanding... But that was off the record. Here you go!
Kite: Yeah! I got a Staff Pass!
Lisa: Oh, you found it? Way to go, Nick!

And like always, the Giver-esque person was completely useless the whole time.

Except when it comes to wasting your time.

Nick: Thank you ma'am!
Kite: Kail, Lisa, I'm off.
Lisa: Good luck! We're counting on you!
Kail: Be careful, OK?!



And then we're dropped off here again.



It's actually possible to do a low-level run of the game, did you know? Since the majority of the stat boosts come from equipment and accessories, it's not that hard to keep your stats up. The only thing that doesn't ever raise is HP and MP.

Random comment is random. Ah, whatever. We gotta fill time just as much as this game does.

I was just browsing when it popped up, actually. I was looking up stuff on Veemon's Digivolution branches when I saw that, and I was curious.



To beat the bosses, since you're not going to be able to go against them toe to toe, it's basically 'Equip Counter Crest and let them kill themselves'. There's also a glitch you can abuse, where buffs don't actually expire when a Digimon dies, so you can just spend a few turns buffing your fighter and then letting it die. Revive it, and then all your buffs will reset in length, leaving you with a Digimon that's about two or three times as powerful as it had been before. (Each level of buff is about 8% stronger than the one before it, up to +5 which jumps up to 50% stronger than base level.)



By the way, have you noticed that I've just re-used the past three screenshots from the beginning of the update? That'd be because we're doing THE EXACT SAME THING. We're just making the same trip twice, from the Sewers to the Asuka Sewers and Datamon.



Maybe now he'll will help us out. But I'm going to save that for next time, because I'm just IRRITATED from having to go back and forth three times, so fuck this shit, I'm out.

You should have taught one of your Pokemon Fly.